Coaching to Emotional Intelligence

Leadership competencies are an organization’s specific set of behaviors designed to yield the intended results, often tailored to specific levels such as supervisor, manager, director, etc. They are “doing” sorts of skill sets, if you will.

 

Emotional intelligence, which has gained significant popularity across the past two decades, looks at an individual’s psychological capacity for self-awareness; self-management; self-regulation; and empathy, among others. It is a complement to the more entrenched IQ, is often known as “EQ” or “EI,” and can be somewhat described as a “being” set of skills.

 

Our conversation concluded with the agreement that we need to help leaders build a foundation of emotional intelligence in order to fully expect them to be able to master and execute the behavioral competencies.

 

The challenge is that the competencies are more easily “taught” than the foundational, emotional fortitude. After all, how much can you develop someone to be self-aware, to get out of the snare of self-defeating beliefs, etc.? Shouldn’t most leaders have that framework in place before knocking on the company’s door?

 

Unfortunately, I’ve taken note across multiple industries in both the profit and for-profit spheres that many do not. There is plenty of education, experience, training and skill sets, but often a scarcity of self- and other-awareness—especially among role model-types whom the public easily places on a pedestal.

 

The positive news is that while emotional intelligence skills can only be taught to a certain extent, they can become internalized in an individual through careful, persistent coaching.

 

Coaching is a facilitative process involving a progression of open- and closed-ended questions that leads to mutual discovery of fresh insights. These insights transform a person’s thought process, and quite often lead to more effective behaviors—and better results.

 

After many years of coaching, I’ve noticed that often I will start off working with an individual who wants to get better at a specific leadership competency—and end up spending a significant percentage of our time uncovering emotional intelligence hindrances and steadily partnering with the person to remove them. This enhances their ability to focus on key business-related competencies and achieve greater success.

 

One of the most challenging clients I have worked with, in addition to these others, has been myself.

 

I certainly enjoy growing in leadership competencies and the tools of my trades. However, I become really excited when I have breakthroughs in self-awareness that create more peaceful relationships, less emotional volatility, and an ability to be less assuming or judgmental of others. These epiphanies bathe the world around me with a few extra rays of sunshine. They lessen obstacles and multiply possibilities. And the more progressive work you can do on yourself, the more you are able to serve and coach others.

 

Ask yourself today: "What am I doing to grow in self-awareness, competencies and relationships?" And consider whether a professional coach can help you to elicit insights and clarity of thinking that are tough to grasp in the midst of subjectivity.