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Narcissus Blinked


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01

To put it bluntly and grammatically clumsy, some people ain’t happy no matter what season it is.

You know who they (you?) are. This past winter they moaned and groaned about how cold it was, and how the chilly air and wind just lingered and tortured with no end in sight. How they longed for sunshine, like a kitten purring for a Pounce treat when its owners get home from work. And now, at last, spring and much warmer weather have arrived, and what do we hear?
 
“My allergies are acting up! All this pollen is killing me! Ah-chooo! Darn this spring weather! I hate this time of year…it’s snot fair…”
 
In the summertime, they will tell you how it’s too hot. “What’s the air conditioning on? Man, this heat is oppressive! I can’t wait until fall.”
 
And what happens as the leaves begin to transform their hues and Halloween decorations are ubiquitous? “My allergies are acting up again. I hate fall weather. I can’t wait until winter.”
 
Okay, I’ve been (mostly) tongue-in-cheek here, perhaps even foot-in-mouth (but certainly not hand, foot and mouth disease). I’ve had my own allergy issues, and some close family members battle them throughout the year.
 
What’s really on my mind today is how these reactions to the different seasons are indicative of how human beings in general resist change.
 
Your situation might be really rotten. I mean, totally intolerable. You spend gobs of time each day complaining to anyone who will listen. You are not positioned to utilize your strengths. You’re not just immersed in quiet desperation; the agony is loud and clear.
 
And then, the opportunity for change comes along, and that insidious fair-weathered friend called Fear sneaks up to your ear and whispers, “But are you sure you really want something different?” And follows up this temptation to resist change with a litany of all the particulars that will be different to if you make some decisions.
 
What is the best relief for the pandemic allergy called Fear? Self-awareness, cultivated through regular introspection, seeking feedback, paying attention to themes and patterns and surrendering to the discipline of aligning your key strength, passions and values to the temporary opportunities and endeavors that flow from one season to another. This type of prescription calls for a daily dose of slowly but steadily positioning yourself to drive life’s conditions (to the fullest extent that is within your power to do so, unforeseen tragedy and careless actions of others notwithstanding) rather than react to such conditions.
 
In other words, intentional living, one of my favorite phrases. The intentional person does not see change as happening to them, but change as an integral part of what it means to grow, to learn, to be alive. To live is to change. To resist change is to resist life.
 
What are you doing resisting life, you sneezing, snotty whiner, you?!?!
 
Smell the flowers today. See the abounding beauty. Hear the call of the robin. Feel the surge of love blossoming in your heart. This is life, this is change. This is humankind, made a little lower than the angels, fearfully and wonderfully constructed. Be grateful.
Posted in: Change

Comments

Dave B.
# Dave B.
Thursday, April 01, 2010 12:31 PM
I've been reading Martin Seligman's book, Learned Optimism, in which he describes the A,B,Cs of the way some people subconciously react negatively to change. In short, many pessimistic people react negatively to change by always assuming the worst possible scenario. Using your example of allergies:

Adversity: Spring arrives and allong with it, my allergies begin acting up.

Belief: I hate Spring. My allergies are always terrible in the Spring. They last for months. I'm just a sick person.

Consequence: I feel worse, helpless to do anything about my alergies. I am depressed about the prospect of them lasting for months. I fail to smell the roses and see the robins.

To combat these A,B,C's of pessimistic thinking, and change to optimistice thinking, Seligman suggests adding steps D and E.

Dispute (your belief system with evidence): Actually, my allergies aren't always terrible. Some years they are better than others. I don't really know how bad they will be or how long they will last this year. There are many things I can do to make the best of it. I can take medication, flush my sinuses with a neti pot, or get an allergy shot if they get real bad. I'm really not a sick person. I just have allergies, like millions of other people. I will not let my allergies prevent me from enjoying all that spring has to offer.

Energize: I feel better. I am taking care of myself and addressing my allergies. I am enjoing the roses and the robins.

I've been practicing this technique. It works.

Dave
Dave B.
# Dave B.
Thursday, April 01, 2010 12:31 PM
I've been reading Martin Seligman's book, Learned Optimism, in which he describes the A,B,Cs of the way some people subconciously react negatively to change. In short, many pessimistic people react negatively to change by always assuming the worst possible scenario. Using your example of allergies:

Adversity: Spring arrives and allong with it, my allergies begin acting up.

Belief: I hate Spring. My allergies are always terrible in the Spring. They last for months. I'm just a sick person.

Consequence: I feel worse, helpless to do anything about my alergies. I am depressed about the prospect of them lasting for months. I fail to smell the roses and see the robins.

To combat these A,B,C's of pessimistic thinking, and change to optimistice thinking, Seligman suggests adding steps D and E.

Dispute (your belief system with evidence): Actually, my allergies aren't always terrible. Some years they are better than others. I don't really know how bad they will be or how long they will last this year. There are many things I can do to make the best of it. I can take medication, flush my sinuses with a neti pot, or get an allergy shot if they get real bad. I'm really not a sick person. I just have allergies, like millions of other people. I will not let my allergies prevent me from enjoying all that spring has to offer.

Energize: I feel better. I am taking care of myself and addressing my allergies. I am enjoing the roses and the robins.

I've been practicing this technique. It works.

Dave
Rodney Park, DDS
Monday, May 24, 2010 3:13 AM
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

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